To determine your fate

What if you could determine your fate? What if for once you had complete control over destiny? And if you did, what is it that you would do differently?

We may not be able to understand why some things happen. So much time that we can barely spare is spent questioning fate.

However, the grass doesn’t ask why it grows. It just grows. Questioning why things occur and asking, “Why me?” only inhibits us from reaching our fullest potential in handling the situation.

Falling victim of these occurrences and allowing them to control our lives is the exact thing that we should not be doing. Because whether or not you even believe in fate, you can at least believe that through every experience there is an opportunity to learn and grow. 

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
Soren Kierkegaard

Let me allow myself to introduce a dear friend of mine. Her name is Alicia, and she has left an impact on my life greater than I could have ever imagined. I met Alicia when I was 17 years old and a freshman in college. From day one she inspired me to be true to myself and to have a passion for life.

Unfortunately, Alicia’s fate resulted in a much shorter life than anyone would have ever preferred when her boyfriend lost control of his emotions…

I have spent years of my life questioning why somebody so wonderful would be taken from those she loved at such an early time. I have questioned intentions of those who are close to me. I have even distanced myself from some in fear of being hurt myself.

However, this should not be the result of Alicia’s life. Is this what she would hope to inspire in those that she loved?

I may not have control over my fate, but I do have control over how I view the outcome. Yesterday, a friend said to me, “Everything happens for a reason.” A simple phrase that everybody has heard but are challenged to have confidence in.

So, maybe I can not determine whom I will meet, challenges I will face, or people I may lose, but I can control how I view these circumstances.

And how do I view them? Well, Leo C. Roste said it well when he said:

‎”I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be “happy.” I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all, to matter and to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”

Yeah, that sounds really good.


One thought on “To determine your fate

  1. SO! I thought of you in class a couple weeks ago… “Attribution Theory”- The way individuals look at prior outcomes of achievement in terms of causality. I completely agree with you in that people need to not dwell on the “why me?” question, but this theory just talks about why the question is important for people to have a realization of the emotion that is attached to a certain outcome and perhaps change that emotion and outlook. I say ‘perhaps’ because some people use that emotion as an excuse, sort of like what you are talking about in your blog entry, but even when that happens there is still the ability of that feeling to be overcome or changed by people like you and I that can help 🙂 Then they know better for next time! Its kind of a cool theory and I feel like I’m not explaining it very well, but you might be interesting in reading a little bit about it

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